Oh my God oh my God oh my God… The bears have learned to use weapons. It’s only a matter of time until Ursa Major here puts down that halberd and picks up an AK47 with her newly opposable-thumbed paws. The bear is also fully bipedal. Humans, bow before your new ursine overlords.
Oh, but it looks like she’s waving “Hi.” Maybe we should go over and see if she’s a friendly bear. You know, most bears are more afraid of us than we are of them.
The Horror! The Agony! She has sliced open my abdominal cavity and is feasting on my pancreas!!!! Get help quickly. Don’t let my death be in vain. Life is escaping me, but promise me. Promise me you will find the bear’s young and do to them what she has done to me… .. .