Abaco Independence Movement (Bahamas)

Abaco Island Independence Movement

 At first, I thought this was the flag of the Leaning Tower of Pisa, if the Tower were inhabited by a cult of barbers, and moved to bizarro Macedonia. Then I thought it was a panel from a very boring architecture-focused comic. But then I realized that it’s the flag of a separatist movement that sought to split from the Bahamas in the 1970s. Naturally.

The members of the Abaco Independence Movement were concerned that the newly independent Bahamas would become another Caribbean socialist paradise that would frown on the largely American expatriate Abaco islanders’ penchant for arms smuggling. In a bout of characteristic stiff upperlippedness, the British refused the Abacoan request for partition, and the movement largely faded away into obscurity. Until their flag was revealed to be a terror worse than any shipping container of AK47s that may or may not have been delivered to El Salvador in 1975.

Martha Stewart enojys the waters of Abaco.

Antigua and Barbuda

Readers will come to see that the best flags usually don’t belong to island nations. For a nation whose names means “old and bearded,” though, this flag is a pretty good fit. I could totally see this design on a Cosby sweater on a clearance rack at Kohl’s, where it would be sure to be snapped up by women shopping for their old, bearded husbands. This flag suggests a downward arrow, and no flag should be so subliminally negative. Also, displaying a black sky… not so postive. At least the blue sea and white sand speaks of a Caribbean paradise.