Vetka, Belarus

Vetka, Belarus

Uh…Something got lost in translation here. The advice we can all take away from this flag is that if you’re going to go with a single letter as your only vexilogical embellishment, you might want to pick one that translates into other languages that don’t use the Cyrillic. And that aren’t the one letter nickname of one of America’s least favorite presidents. Or the name of an Oliver Stone movie about said president. Or an emblem worn of the hat of the nemesis of a certain Italian-American plumber.

The flag of Vetka is wery, wery bad.

Korbin, Belarus

Korbin, Belarus

While I’m on an Eastern European religious flag kick, here’s one that’s best described in dialogue form. I’m going out on a limb and say that it’s Mary and Jesus in the bottom right. The woman up top is more difficult to identify. Definitely a saint. Ann? Elizabeth? If anyone know the iconography here, please pipe up. I’m just going to refer to her as Jill.

Jill: “Hail, Mary.”

Mary: “Oh, hi Jill.”

Jill: “How’ve you been?”

Mary: “Well, it’s been a pretty crazy year, really – didn’t you read that Christmas letter I sent?”

Jill: “Oh… No, I was in Boca for the winter.”

Mary: “Oh. Well, you know about this whole virgin birth thing, right? I don’t have to go into that again, do I?”

Jill: “Yeah, no. I’ve heard about that.”

Mary: “Um, Jill. What are you doing up there?”

Jill: “You know. Hanging out, displaying things slightly out of frame. Well, gotta go.”

Mary (to Jesus): “What is wrong with that woman?”

Jesus: “I don’t know, mom, but my head is TINY! I’m going to grow into it, right?”

Mary: “Of course, dear.”

Amen.

Belarus

The Belarusians don’t have a lot going their way: it has a long history of oppression by nearby powers, population decline, a state controlled economy and the distinction of being the last dictatorship in Europe. One thing that surely isn’t helping the mood in Minsk is this clunker of a flag. According to my research, the red portion (top two thirds) symbolizes Belarus’ glorious mideval and Soviet past, while the green represents the future. Now, I might make the future part a bit more than one third of the flag – that’s a little pessimistic, but that’s just me. The vertical symbols down the left side are representative of the nation’s heritage and unity. But I think it makes the flag look more like a rug. If I knew nothing else, I would guess this were the flag of one of the “stans” or other places known for rugmaking. The sidebar also looks like a pixellated screenshot from and Apple II. I bet schoolkids have a hard time drawing it. Some sources note that the flag must be topped with a golden ornament/flagpole finial for solemn ceremonies. If there’s something that would finish this flag off any better for solemn ceremonies, I can’t think of it.