Timişoara, Romania (Historic)

Timişoara, Romania - Historic

Timişoara, formerly known as Temesvár when it was a part of pre-Trianon Hungary, had one of the laziest, most unoriginal flags in Europe. Take a look at the obvious inspiration:

 

Denmark

Because the Dannebrog is the  oldest continually used national flag in the world (documented from the 1300s,) it’s pretty certain that the Timişoarese were the copy cats. Aside from shifting the vertical line to the center, it’s a total carbon copy. Maybe there was a  super sweet smørrebrød restaurant along the baroque streets of the Józsefváros district that sparked an outbreak of Dane-Mania.

Irribarren, Venezuela

Irribarren, Venezuela

ZOMG! Super ugly!!11!11!!!!!!1 I mean so ugly, that a tween can’t even express it!11!111!!!!1!!

Lom, Bulgaria

Lom, Bulgaria

The big problems here are tone and contrast. If you have to strain to see it, it’s a bad flag. Text in yellow is never recommended for legibility. But yellow text on a yellow-green backround is awful. Three different shades of green on the flag – not a good choice.

Rizal, Philippines

Rizal, Philippines

 There’s not too much info that I can find on this, and the image isn’t quite big enough to figure out what everything is, but I think I can say that yes, this is a badflag.  I can identify the central image is of Dr. José Protasio Rizal Mercado y Alonso Realonda, who aside from being the Philippines national hero, the namesake of Rizal Province and the bearer of the longest name I’ve ever seen, apparently had a CRAZY hairline and a severely odd shaped cranium. However, looking at photos of Rizal, this seems to just be a poor rendering of the fellow.

The rest of the scenes are kind of hard to figure out. In the top left – I think there is a guy holding up a sword and a bow. But that bow also looks like two fish kissing. Next is a couple of houses by a lake. I think there’s a filled-in valley between them. In the bottom right, a mermaid is smelling a flower (I think.) The final scene is the most perplexing. A person wearing an apron and a chef’s hat is having a rigorous debate with two yellow fire hydrants.

Or something. Clarity, brevity and better quality portraiture would help salvage this sinking ship of  a flag.

Avoyelles Parish, Louisiana

Avoyelles Parish, Louisiana

I believe this flag represents loggorhea. Oh wait – no. It’s Avoyelles Parish, Louisiana. But it sure is chatty!

Avoyelles Parish is located in east-central Louisiana, right near the border with Mississippi. It’s named for the Avoyel Indian tribe, and was settled by French immigrants in the late 1700s. Not to be confused with the Cajuns (who came to southern Louisiana from Nova Scotia, the Francophone settlers of Avoyelles were Creole, but the culture there is quite similar to the Cajun culture found further south. So there you go, a story told in far more words than it was worth.

Aside from being the most verbiose flag I have yet encountered, the symbolism on this flag is atrocious. The map of the parish is unnecessary. With just the text, one can be quite sure this flag represents Avoyelles Parish. Plus, the shape of Avoyelles Parish is a little too similar to the Quebecois portion of the Canadian Shield. The other imagery is not spectacular. Three geese, two of which look like they’re too plump to fly horizontally. Everywhere has geese. I can see five geese right now. A cypress tree – makes me think of scary swamps where gators attack fanboats. And a plow. Oh – I think it symbolizes agriculture. At first glance, I thought it was a jet ski – which would have been much better. Also, the color pallete (a classic red, white and blue) is muddled by that unappealing Dijon shade.

Ignoring the 54 words of text around the edges, the large words in the middle are redundant. Translated, it means, “Avoyelles Parish – Welcome to Avoyelles.” Maybe that’s their slogan. Original. I do have to say, though that some of the towns of Avoyelles have names you don’t hear every day. I like Egg Bend, Cocoville, Rexmere and Bunkie; but Fifth Ward doesn’t do anything for me.

Avoyelles needs a copy editor to fix this flag. I’ll allow them a word count of five. Eliminate that map, and revamp the symbols.

Bloomfield, Kentucky

Bloomfield, Kentucky

 

Tobacco on the flag, huh? That’s the way it’s going to be? In a town that has a tobacco spitting festival, that’s probably par for the course. Those are very nice drawings of tobacco leaves, by the way. If you’re a six year old. The script font is really quite nice. It looks especially good in CAPS LOCK. Also, I’m really glad that U.S.A. is specified. When I first saw it, I almost thought this flag was for Bloomfield, Kentucky, Portugal.

This flag was designed by an Eagle Scout. Seriously. I thought they were supposed to do good things for their community. I guess Eagle Scout Alex Martin III (who “designed” this atrocity) earned his merit badge in ugly. (Oh, yeah – I called him out, mostly because I think he halfass bullshited his community.) In 1998. The year that the tobacco companies made an unprecedented settlement with the states, handing over billions of dollars and finally officially admitting that tobacco is not healthy. Keep it classy, Bloomfield. And maybe revoke that tobacco loving kid’s Eagle Scout standing. At least roll this flag up and light it on fire.

Hérimoncourt, France

Herimoncourt, Doubs, Franche-Comte, France

 Battown! Transylvanian voivodships are really jealous about this design being taken. The Times New Roman was a bad choice, though. They could have checked out this site for some sweet creepy fonts.

Some fun facts about bats: They can hang upside down without exerting any energy. One fifth of all mammal species is a bat. Vampire bats are most likely to attack your big toe.