Menton is the St. Petersburg, Florida of France. Both cities are full of retirees and citrus (though it’s lemons rather than oranges in Menton.) And their flags are both very bad. I think St. Petersburg might be a little bit worse, but that’s not excuse for the Mentonnais.
Despite this lemon of a flag (too easy?) Menton is a beautiful place, tucked amongst the mountians and Mediterranean, right between Monaco and the Italian border. I’ve actually spent an afternoon in Menton, right after the Lemon Festival – and had a wonderful time.
But back to the flag. Yikes. I get that the yellow angel might be such a vivid shade due to the city’s lemony heritage. That’s a pretty violent angel, though. He’s stabbing at the serpent at his feet with a tri…bi-dent? He’s also ready to strike the death blow with a crooked stick held above his head. If you look closely enough, you can see that he’s wearing a slammin’ dress reminiscent of Marilyn Monroe. In a font more boring than Arial, the words DEFENSOR MENTONI are written so that one has to lie on ones side and then roll over to read it without hurting ones neck. Not even Menton’s bad ass defending angel can keep me from savaging this bad flag.
Rawr! If there’s anything the peoples of the world know about Estonia, it’s not to mess with this nation of vicious Finno-Ugrian speakers. Well, everybody except the Russians knows that. And the Germans. Anyhow…
This flag, though, doesn’t say a lot about the affirmed bellicosity of the Estonian race of manimals. The colors of this flag are reminiscent of a professional sports franchise based in PIttsburgh. Beyond that, the bear seems to be smiling. And upon further inspection, the bear bears a Mona Lisa-like mysterious expression that could be construed as introspection or perhaps sublime delight. Odd.
Chiapas is located in southern Mexico, wedged between Guatemala and the Pacific Ocean, and is home to the Maya ruins of Palenque. It’s one of the poorer states in Mexico and is much troubled by Zapatista militias and is a major point of entry for undocumented immigrants from Central America into Mexico.
It is possible that Chiapas is being held back by its flag. There’s not much to love here. I’m going to disregard the crown. Well, other than to say it’s a little gaudy. The center seal tells the story of two lion lovers. The first lion, Eduardo, lives in the palace. The other lion, Timoteo, is stuck on the other side of a rushing river from his love. A deep chasm keeps apart their love. One day, as Eduardo uses his castle as a scratching post, Timoteo gets an idea. If he scratched that palm tree enough, he may be able to break it down and bridge the gap and run to his lover’s open paws. Unfortunately, the tree is just a little short, and Timoteo plunges to his untimely death. The early 1980s Atari game Pitfall is actaully based on this traditional Chiapan tale.
Sometimes I think bad flags may be more than just ugly. They can be downright counterproductive. The Assyrian nationalist movement created this flag to represent the Assyrian diaspora and hope for a new nation to which all Assyrians could return. But if I were a diplomat and an Assyrian delegation came to me seeking recognition for nationhood, I’d be reaching for my big red “rejected” stamp as soon as I saw this flag.
First of all, the four squiggly bands of color are supposed to represent the Tigris and Euphrates and something called the Zawa. They look more like an American front porch decked out in bunting for the 4th of July. The star at the center has a solar disc in its center. I’d pick one celestial object and stick with it. More subtly, the two shades of blue are distracting. Finally, we have to address the fella floating above everything. This is Ashur, the major god of the Assyrians. He’s floating up there in a sphere made of feathers, shooting arrows as he pleases. I’d edit him out. He’s just superfluous, as ancient Assyrian religion is no longer practiced, and most Assyrians are Christians of some sort. It’s not like the Assyrians had a strong tradition of vexillography and just made one mistake. Their previous flag was just as bad. It’s a classic tricolor, but it’s tarted up with some hot pink and stars!!!
Assyrian Flag - Pre WWI
And in case you wanted to learn even more about the Assyrian flag and hear a lovely patriotic Assyrian song, YouTube is always willing to oblige. The dazzling special effects are an added bonus.
What can I say? I just really like this flag. It’s simple (just two colors,) and has just one nice, clear, strong symbol. It’s much better than this nation’s official name: The Former Yugoslav Republic of Macedonia. I’m just going to call it Macedonia, though – and the Greeks are going to have to live with that.
